Kevin Yee Talks ‘A Guide to Not Dying Completely Alone’ at SXSW 2023!
Kevin Yee, a multi-talented writer and actor, premiered his pilot A Guide to Not Dying Completely Alone in the Independent TV Pilot Program at SXSW. He opens up about working in the industry since he was a child, the obstacles he has faced, and even how icon Celine Dion inspires him!
Stephanie:
So first of all, congratulations on South by Southwest. It’s such a big accomplishment. I loved the pilot so much. I can’t wait till it gets picked up and all of that. So, I wanna talk to you a little bit about that and then I want to get more into you. So in this pilot, your character Ben has an epiphany about finally changing his life after a near death, death experience. So was there any specific moment in your life where you had a similar epiphany to start working towards your dreams?
Kevin Yee:
Yeah, I mean, it was a longer moment for me. When I was in my 20s, I was a Broadway actor and right before that I was like a child actor as well. So I’ve always been in the entertainment industry. And then in my 30s I decided to try to do more Hollywood work. So I moved to Los Angeles and basically didn’t work for five years. I spent a lot of that time alone, a lot of that time struggling.
And I just started to feel the world in a way that I hadn’t before. When I was 20 and younger, I was really ambitious. But in my thirties I was starting to realize, or question, if the path was as worth it because I was missing my family in a way that I had never missed them before.
My career drive had kind of changed where at one point I was so ambitious and in my thirties I was like, I just want to make great work. Like I want to be a part of great things. And, I remember sitting alone for those long periods of time and thinking about things like mortality. Cause I had so much time to think about it.
It’s really just the idea of if I died in my apartment and I had no job, nobody that was checking up on me in those long periods of time, would anyone find me? And my family being in Canada, how long would it take for someone to find me? So I went to a very morbid thought and then I wrote this script. So the script has been around for six years.
So it’s been a long journey, but I would say the pandemic exacerbated in a way that I didn’t expect. And I almost think that it was a premonition in a way because it was actually during the pandemic when I had my first panic attack and that panic attack triggered something so dark in me. And that journey was of me trying to make this show. That is actually what was one of the main factors that made me want to make the pilot because I realized it was now or never in many ways. But also because I had just experienced it so freshly and I think everyone was feeling that.
Stephanie:
So Ben, in the show, is a queer Asian man with plenty of potential advice in A Guide to Not Dying Completely Alone. What do you hope audiences of all genders, races, and/or sexual orientations can take from Ben’s story?
Kevin Yee:
I like to call this show the bitchy Eat, Pray, Love.
Stephanie:
I saw that! I loved that.
Kevin Yee:
That’s how I pitched it. Whenever I was struggling I was reading a lot of these self-help books and they were so, I think there is good advice you can take from it. But some of what they’re saying is so ridiculous that you’re just like, oh, if I just believe it, it will happen. And, then if it doesn’t happen, you’re like, did I believe hard enough?
And so one thing that I also say about the show is I don’t want anyone to think that I have the answers or that the show has the answers. What I want is for people to have hope and to have confidence in who they are and their journey and that they’re not weird because they think differently. So when Ben is struggling to do these things and change his life, loneliness is one of them.
It’s like, how do you define loneliness and how do you define being introverted? One thing that I think about a lot is how media makes us feel that happiness looks a certain way and not being lonely looks a certain way. You have to be live in your friends; house or apartment and they have to be friends with all your friends and be constantly surrounded by people.
But I think it’s different. People see the world and experience it differently and that’s okay. I want people, no matter who you are, to see the show and be like, it’s okay. Embrace who you are and that just because a book says you should be one way doesn’t mean it’s the truth.
Stephanie:
That’s amazing. I love that!
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Stephanie:
Are there any entertainers you admired growing up that made you want to be an actor or a writer?
Kevin Yee:
It’s so weird. No, because I just didn’t see myself reflected ever and so I think that I’m an amalgamation of many things. The one person that comes to mind and it’s not even helpful to this question, is Celine Dion because I grew up with Celine Dion and because I’m Canadian, she’s forced upon us <laughs>. But even looking at her now, she’s always been such, and I say this in a nice way, so weird, but she embraces her weird and as she’s grown older, she’s embraced it even more. And you look at her versus the other kind of divas that she grew up with and she’s outlasted the majority of them.
I definitely, also like her passion for her work and it is something that I have and so it inspires me because a lot of times going back to your previous question people say to me, you have to have a good work-life balance. And I agree with that, but it’s also like my passion is my work and Celine’s passion is her work and so I really connect with that, how much she is passionate about her music and what she does and that’s how I want to continue in this career is not having to conform and just continuing to do it out of passion.
Stephanie:
Right. That’s a great connection.
Stephanie:
Can you talk about your experiences in theater and Hollywood growing up? What progress have you seen in the industry and is there more progress than can be made, especially you being a gay Asian man?
Kevin Yee:
Yeah. I’ve been in this industry since I was six. The one thing I always say is when I was six my first agent signed me and he said it was because diversity was in. So I’ve been hearing that my entire life and I think yes there has been change, but very incremental, very small. The biggest change I saw was in 2020 when we had to face it, but the main thing that I noticed is that the language changes but the system doesn’t.
And until people are willing to change the system and speak out about the system, which we talked about that in 2020 in the most strong way I would say. But throughout the rest of my career it hasn’t been that. It’s just been we changed the language so it’s not racist words. But, you should have never been saying that in the first place.
And then I think we had the strong conversation in 2020 and it’s kind of moved backwards or flattened and it’s just the language changes, the inclusion continues because I do write in television shows now and I’m in these writers’ rooms, but what I face in those writers rooms is often what you would think as the minority voice. Sometimes I am lifted up. It depends who the people are.
But you’d be surprised that still in 2023 people expect the only queer Asian in the room to not speak and not be heard. So it continues to be a struggle. I have hope. But I think I also think in a way, and this is not to say that I feel like a victim, but I choose to continue to do it, to do this. Because if I wasn’t here, I don’t know who would be. A lot of people I grew up with have left the business and from what we’ve had to face and I don’t blame them. I am passionate about what I do, so I feel like it’s good that I stay.
Stephanie:
Right. And that’s why I wanted to ask you that because I feel like we have seen progress, but there’s so much more to be made. Can you talk about any upcoming projects that you’re involved in that you can talk about
Kevin Yee:
Yes, I can because it’s announced but I wrote for a Disney show called Hailey’s On It.
Stephanie:
That’s incredible.
Kevin Yee:
I’m so excited about it. It is actually Asian led, so Ava and Manny Hato are the stars. So it’s supposed to come out in the summer and there’s a lot. I wrote a lot of episodes. It’s super fun and I hope that I can talk more about it as we get closer. But yeah, right now I can only say what the press release was like a year ago.
Stephanie:
I’ll definitely be checking that out. I’m such a kid at heart. I still watch all the Disney shows and even the animated ones that come out.
Kevin Yee:
I love them, but this is one that bridges that gap of adults and kids. The comedy is very sharp.
Stephanie:
I’m so excited then!
Kevin Yee:
Yeah, I’m excited for people to see it.
Stephanie:
Lastly, do you have any, either writers, actors or directors, that you would consider to be a dream collaboration for you?
Kevin Yee:
I mean, I will just shout out the director of this episode Jen Tan, he’s very prolific in the queer Asian filmmaking community, specifically Austin. Everyone here knows him because he is based here. But we’ve also wrote a screenplay together. And I will admit that I don’t necessarily collaborate well with people because I have a very strong opinion <laughs> but with this project, for instance, my work is very comedy driven and he’s very dramatic.
So, I knew that I, in this project, I needed somebody who was comfortable in the silences because I’m not. I just want to talk. So, really his work combined with mine and our similar backgrounds really helps me as somebody who has felt alone in this industry. So I’m living that dream collaboration right now.
Stephanie:
That’s amazing!. Great! Thank you so much for being here and I can’t wait to see the rest of your work!
Kevin Yee:
Thank you. Thanks for having me.
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