The PG Pirates (of Caribbean) – Editorial

Of all the representations Hollywood did over the decades, the golden age of Piracy (1650 – 1720) is amongst the worst. Not one popular movie exists where true Piracy shows as it really was. A lawless, unhinged mad world with lesser morals but more freedom. Men (mostly) drawn to sea with a zeal for adventure owned the tides for decades without any plausible threat. With no overlord looking over their shoulder judging them, Pirates might be the last Humans who’ve enjoyed absolute freedom in the recorded history. Pillaging, raping, murdering strangers to get what they want… One can even get away by comparing Pirates to the early Vikings/Barbarians.

The notorious Pirate movies anyone can think of are Disney’s ‘Pirates of Caribbean’ series. And Disney is known for its unrealistic misrepresentations of fairy tales with flying carpets or princesses locked in castles/towers. But hey.., that brought billions of dollars and millions of DVD/merch sales. Even though the franchise died slowly by every passing sequel, we gotta give props for bringing false yet well-deserved attention to the Piracy during the beginning of the era of the East India Company (for better or worse). EIC legalized piracy in the name of the King and colonization.

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The closest entertainment to real piracy out there is ‘Black Sails’ which admittedly could be a lot better given that it was an adaptation of one of the most celebrated stories about Piracy, ‘Treasure Island’. The gentlemen of fortune, as the pirates called themselves are still waiting to be reincarnated to their original glory.

The portrayal of the soft mouthed Jack Sparrow by Johnny Depp is one of the most revered characters I can think of. Not because it was great. But it imprinted on us so much that I cannot imagine another actor swinging all over the screen as if he has no bones in his lower body struggling to resist gravity. Even the horrifying Edward Teach, better known as Blackbeard was beaten down to a casual villain.

With all their mateys, savvies, lilly livered miscreant insults the Pirates of Caribbean throw at each other, they managed to gather the attention of millions. Disney replaced all the adult versions of the piracy like mindless rapes, countless pillagings, violent mutinies with its own shiny grand wigs, rotten teeth, fancy hats and pirate stereotypes that may not have survived one day on the ship of Henry Avery, the most successful Pirate to date.

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Only Disney can make such grizzly, skin crawling stories into a PG-rated movie and get away with billions on it’s back. And for a good reason. As misrepresented as the movies are, it entertained millions of children and elders alike all over the planet.

But, I couldn’t help but wonder, in this age, where hardcore gory entertainment like Game of Thrones is attracting mainstream audience, someone got to have a look at the Piracy and give us a realistic Piracy experience so we can take care of the real world we live in where everything can go wrong does go wrong if the shepherds we choose, choose to ignore us.

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