How many people actually thought that The Nun II would be any good? Nun. Ha ha, bet you haven’t heard that joke yet. Anyway, there was a time with the first The Conjuring movie where this franchise could balance supernatural horror with a grounded atmosphere backed by real-life events. When the first few spinoff movies came out, that feeling was lost.
The Nun (2018) is one of the stupidest horror movies I have ever seen, and its sequel is no different. This is a horror movie with the writing of a cheesy Shonen anime. All I can compliment it for are a couple of performances and an improvement in cinematography. Besides that, The Nun II, directed by Michael Chaves, has a consistently moronic script.
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Between the nonsensical reality this film takes place in and some baffling character decisions, I nearly went blind from my eyes rolling too far back into my head. It could work as a so-bad-it’s-good movie with how ridiculous the script, screen-written by Ian Goldberg, Richard Naing and Akela Cooper gets, yet The Nun II is so unbearably boring that any chance of amusement is washed away.
The par for a horror movie, no matter the quality, is to at least have some good scares. Yeah, The Nun II is the antithesis of scary. It blows its wad too early with its bad pacing, cramming in jump scare after jump scare that has no lasting impact whatsoever. It’s unoriginal in its approach to the point where it actually reuses scares and frames from previous movies.
And to everyone who thinks the Valak demon is scary, this movie really makes it look like a bona fide dumbass. Its motives and power are made clear, yet it spends so much time messing around to let the heroes get the upper hand. It can go from effortlessly lighting someone on fire to being a wacky cartoon character playing a game of cat-and-mouse. With how intellectually incompetent this demon is, the idea behind Valak has become totally ruined.
Warner Brothers’ “The Conjuring Universe” needs a whole water tower of holy water to save it from damning itself to ruins. The Nun II becomes yet another failure to inject intrigue into a once popular franchise, and is only that movie to see on a date and get a few jumps out of.
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